If you were a lobster, you'd have:
- Built-in body armor: You'll never break a collarbone or end up with a huge scrape across you face from a crash--you've got full-body custom plate mail. Not only is it custom, it automatically replaces itself with a slightly larger size every year, so you won't be self-conscious about looking fat when you stop training, or get a real job.
- Regenerating limbs: Body armor is nice and all, but if you're really taking it to the edge, some day you might get hurt BAD. When your arm is broken in six places it would sure be nice to just hack the thing off and grow a fresh one. Especially when you don't have insurance.
- Teeth in your stomach: Yep, that's right. Never choke down a Clif Bar again. Gulp it and forget it. Your gut will take care of the rest.
- Eight Legs: Need I say more?
Lobster pic credit: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/03/0302_050302_lobster.html