The story of a patchy beard

I have a patchy beard. Pretty much the only thing I can do about it is to not have a beard, but that strategy is not compatible with being lazy. For some reason, shaving is my most despised personal chore, perhaps because I don't fell like throwing down $15 for a Mach 5 package. I'd rather be lazy and cheap. I got around to trimming up my beard this morning and uncovered a mystery as ancient as the heavens themselves.


The largest region of shame is the barren track that goes from the middle of my right cheek down toward my neck . Shown below are two pics comparing my left and right sides. I wouldn't mention all of this if there weren't something inherently interesting about it all. You'll notice that there is a large red dot smack in the middle of my right cheek, a birth mark of sorts. This red dot seems to be the hair follicle eating Pac-man responsible for my barren streak. But this is pretty cool really, as long as it isn't cancerous or an alien spore, in that you can see that this mark migrated around during my foetal development, a stable genetic anomaly, like Jupiter's great storm. This of course, doesn't say anything about what the red mark is, or where originally it came from. I'll have to do a closer inspection later and see if I can track the path outside of my beard region.
image credit: www.bic.com [bic razor]

image credit: www.crystalinks.com [jupiter]